[46/365] long day

[cosmolinguist]

Today was my first "long day" at work, five entire hours. It went pretty well, though.

I left just in time to get there at 10am which I was really pleased about (I don't have to be super-precise in my timekeeping, I was just glad for my own anxiety-management, and I'd had time to shower, make myself leftover French toast, and walk Gary. I worried he wouldn't be interested in a walk so early; in the last eleven months what were always morning walks before I went to work or uni had drifted to about lunchtime. But he was really excited to see me with my coat on, so that was nice.

I was nervous about having to do a bunch of new things at work today but it went fine. I had a hilarious amount of first-day-at-work type problems, like the kind of thing that just make you look bad when you least want to look bad, except of course I was in a place and around a person that's very familiar to me. Some days you just drop things a lot or bump into stuff or the oatmeal explodes in the microwave! It wasn't a lot of fun but it actually went pretty quickly for the most part. And the new stuff will be less weird next time (though some things are weird anyway; the two people have very different shower routines and I'm worried about doing stuff from the old one on autopilot which would be bad for the new one).

diffrentcolours offered me a lift home but for once it wasn't gray and freezing outside, it was actually sunny and too warm (54°F, according to my phone) for the Big Coat that I needed this morning. And even through my mask I thought the air smelled kind of like spring. It's too early for this to last, of course, but all the more reason I'm glad it lined up with me being done with work so I could enjoy it on my commute.

Then I had a nap and I've still gone to bed early. It seems pitiful to be so tired but I have to keep reminding myself that care work is really complex! It involves all the skills for managing a house (tidying, laundry, doing the dishes, etc.) and having a body (showering, getting dressed, meds, making doctor's appointments, etc.) that go undervalued anyway. But also some, like, project-management skills: helping prioritize the day's tasks and being responsive to sometimes-unpredictable fluctuations in the energy and concentration that people are capable of, which may change the plan or may affect how long things take or what order they happen in.

And I have to keep an eye on myself too: I have to consider what I can bring for lunch on these days, I have to do what I can to minimize the effects that things like my insomnia and my anxiety have on me and my ability to do my work. I'm pretty good at this, but I'm glad to work for people who remind me when they think I need reminding that I can make myself tea when I make them tea, I can sit down and take breaks, and that sort of thing.

Okay, gonna try to sleep now.

Comments

[barakta]

Yep, caring is hard on both sides, having to learn if you can work together on some v intimate and complex stuff - especially during the learning curve and you can't just pretend a PA/carer isn't A Human Too!

A friend says the trial and first week of any new PA makes her really bonkers cos she can't focus on anything else as she has to do lots of verbalising stuff and deciding if PA is learning quickly/well enough or not and pros and cons.

I am sure you are absolutely one of the good ones, who will listen to feedback and learn and realise why it matters to get things right and correct mistakes etc. But emotionally exhausting for you until you get more familiar with things. I am glad your employers are good and kind people who see your value and remind you to be uhman and take care too.

[momentsmusicaux]

It sounds like it went well and that yes, you're really good at it!