[219/366] an actual good day

[cosmolinguist]

This morning I:

• got up early
• had breakfast
• walked the dog
• went to the pharmacy (which sucks and guess who wasn't obeying the "only two people inside at a time" sign? That's right, the only white guy!)
• nipped into the Asian shop on a whim since I had to walk past it anyway, to get the cumin I didn't get in Monday's delivery
• went to Asda to get dog food and a couple other things that were missed on Monday, that give me more meal options this week

All by 11:30! I've had weeks of not even being able to get myself out of bed in the morning, not eating, not doing chores or errands that really need to be done. So doing all this before noon? Feels like a pretty big deal.

Normally I'd expect myself to be so self-critical now, at how little I can expect of myself. But today that voice is quiet, so far at least, which is nice.

Then I rested for an hour, did uni reading for an hour (I'm having to remind myself of stuff from last fall so I can finally take my forensic linguistics exam in a couple of weeks) and, just as outside was getting noisy with workmen next door and I was thinking I was due a break, diffrentcolours texted to say if Gary and I walked to the park right now we'd see him.

Gary didn't want to go (he's a bit under the weather today, he's got a very delicate stomach) but I went on my own and had a really nice time chatting, enjoying the warm and sometimes sunny weather, we even had something approximating an ice cream although it was from the hippie shop so it was a frozen triangle of banana and coconut milk, still delicious. When I met diffrentcolours there, he said something about how normal it felt, and it did. There was an exercise class happening, which probably didn't need to be much more socially-distanced than it would've been anyway for people to have room to flail around. There were lots of people walking Good Dogs. There were kids who'd be on holiday anyway. The weather was nice and summery: warm enough for a t-shirt and shorts, with intermittent sun and a good breeze.

I still have one essay left to do, this one a research paper on a topic I really don't understand but luckily Andrew does. He fixed my graph from a nightmare to one where the lines are actually near the dots. I've been so worried about that, and so mired in the essay I handed in yesterday, that just having one of those done and the other confirmed as manageable, possible, has made such a big difference to me. No wonder I got so much done this morning. But also I had to: some stuff I'd been putting off as I could only manage the bare minimum in recent weeks.

I have to hand in that last essay by a week on Monday and the exam, an open-book one that lasts a week which means writing more essays, starts two days after that is due. By the 26th of August I will finally be done with my degree. Then I have to start jobhunting in earnest.

Comments

[steorra]

Yay for actually good days!

[cosmolinguist]

It has been a long time since I've had a whole day that felt good. The closest I've gotten so far is "it was good except" or "it was good but" or "it was good until."

I mean yes this would've been nicer if there wasn't a pandemic, because then we could've gone to the pub next to the park, then I would finished in all these essays by the end of May... Last year when he got his car MOTed my boyfriend could eat at a nearby café and I wasn't even around to spend time with because I could work. Obviously that is better. But I'm exempting that from my "it was good except" because it's always going to be better when there isn't a pandemic.

[askygoneonfire]

This all sounds like it's just on the manageable side of overwhelming which, objectively, I think is the best you can hope for. It's so lovely to read about what a great morning you had. It's so exceptional when that cloud parts and everything that was so impossible just feels straightforward again, and delivers such simple pleasure and calm. I hope you have some more days like this in coming weeks

[cosmolinguist]

This all sounds like it's just on the manageable side of overwhelming

Yes, exactly. I still have as much to do as I can possibly cope with. But it's nice to be on this side of overwhelming, having been on the other side since... Sometime last winter, honestly? November, probably.

I know I'll be back to "unmanageablec once I have to face up to needing a job when no jobs exist. So I hope I can enjoy this while it lasts. :)

[tarasacon]

Woohoo! Congratulations on an effective day!

(I’ve also been struggling mightily with both my particular brain weasels and fibro flares, so I have similar feels about my intermittent/seemingly rare good days.)

[otter]

That IS a pretty big deal.

The visit with Diffrentcolours sounds delightful :)


Oh, so many things coming to a conclusion, and new beginnings.

Hooray!

[jesse_the_k]

I'm so glad you not only had a good day, but were able to enjoy it without that voice.

Are dogs okay in most public parks in Manchester?

Re: Hooray!

[cosmolinguist]

Yep, you tend to see a lot of them in the parks, especially now the weather has finally warmed up (into the 70s, oooh!). I'd have normally brought mine along, the park is a regular walk for us, but he wasn't feeling it that day. Just as well, he wouldn't have liked the "sitting and chilling" part for as long as we were there, and he's too nervous to be okay around other dogs.