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cosmolinguistI woke Andrew up pretty early, 6:30, by accident. Normally when he's awake at that kind of time, I can cheer up/distract him by suggesting he go get us breakfast from the bakery, or walk to McDonald's for one of their terrible breakfasts. And now he just can't do that, and I'm sad again.
I know it's a little thing. But it feels like all our work has remained and a lot of the little joys of our lives have been taken.
Still, life is not without its joys. I sat in a cold but sunny garden this morning. I went to Asda early and was able to buy more dog food (the more important supplies!) and I even found bread. The shop was quiet, I didn't even have to queue. But I cried on my way home, I think because the busy street I live on was so quiet at half past eight. I know social media is full of messages about how this isn't a post-apocalyptic wasteland, it's a show of solidarity, and I know that but part of my lizard-brain is so unsettled by empty streets and empty shelves in the supermarkets.
Anyway, my list of joys went off the rails a bit there. Tonight Andrew and I watched a movie with some of my fellow bisexuals, via Netflix Party. Professor Marston and the Wonder Women, something we'd wanted to see anyway. I know people have had varying experiences with this, but it worked well for us -- I couldn't see the chat myself but Andrew was reading bits out to me. I laughed myself silly when somehow everyone's display name kept getting changed to the name of one person in the chat, it was a proper Spartacus-type situation. Because Andrew had to read out stuff to me ("one of the Francescas is saying 'omg I'm Francesca, question mark...' ") it was overlaying the audio description of what was clearly supposed to be a sexy scene of the title characters discovering bondage, and that made it even funnier. The movie was pretty good though, and I'm glad Andrew was around to answer lots of questions about comic book things in the chat afterward.
I just, I keep thinking I could bear this for a week or two, it'd be an adventure, but I'm scared to think about how I'll manage after that. I already slept for four fucking hours this afternoon, after a decent night's sleep and only having been awake about three hours. Maybe I needed it, but this is a depression symptom for me. And I had an awful long complicated dream that was clearly based on health anxiety and fear and pain and uncertainty, so I didn't exactly wake up refreshed.
I know it's a little thing. But it feels like all our work has remained and a lot of the little joys of our lives have been taken.
Still, life is not without its joys. I sat in a cold but sunny garden this morning. I went to Asda early and was able to buy more dog food (the more important supplies!) and I even found bread. The shop was quiet, I didn't even have to queue. But I cried on my way home, I think because the busy street I live on was so quiet at half past eight. I know social media is full of messages about how this isn't a post-apocalyptic wasteland, it's a show of solidarity, and I know that but part of my lizard-brain is so unsettled by empty streets and empty shelves in the supermarkets.
Anyway, my list of joys went off the rails a bit there. Tonight Andrew and I watched a movie with some of my fellow bisexuals, via Netflix Party. Professor Marston and the Wonder Women, something we'd wanted to see anyway. I know people have had varying experiences with this, but it worked well for us -- I couldn't see the chat myself but Andrew was reading bits out to me. I laughed myself silly when somehow everyone's display name kept getting changed to the name of one person in the chat, it was a proper Spartacus-type situation. Because Andrew had to read out stuff to me ("one of the Francescas is saying 'omg I'm Francesca, question mark...' ") it was overlaying the audio description of what was clearly supposed to be a sexy scene of the title characters discovering bondage, and that made it even funnier. The movie was pretty good though, and I'm glad Andrew was around to answer lots of questions about comic book things in the chat afterward.
I just, I keep thinking I could bear this for a week or two, it'd be an adventure, but I'm scared to think about how I'll manage after that. I already slept for four fucking hours this afternoon, after a decent night's sleep and only having been awake about three hours. Maybe I needed it, but this is a depression symptom for me. And I had an awful long complicated dream that was clearly based on health anxiety and fear and pain and uncertainty, so I didn't exactly wake up refreshed.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-03-20 09:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-03-21 06:47 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-03-21 06:10 am (UTC)I'm glad you and Andrew are keeping safe at home, but I wish you didn't have to. :(
(no subject)
Date: 2020-03-21 06:48 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-03-21 09:55 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-03-21 04:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-03-21 12:12 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-03-21 04:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-03-21 03:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-03-21 04:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-03-22 11:43 pm (UTC)We're here in your electric box, sending you hope and strength!