[352/365] MAN -> AMS -> MSP

[cosmolinguist]

The trip seemed to go as smoothly as it can, largely because we booked disability assistance after it worked so well for me on my own last time. So Andrew got to ride in a wheelchair rather than walk and stand in queues, especially welcome on a day when his knees had been particularly bothering him.

I had enough assistance just from having someone around to follow, and it meant Andrew also had a break from having to read signs and navigate for us both. It meant I wasn't stressed or panicky -- I'd started to think having an anxiety attack was as much a part of airplane travel as eye-watering prices and security theatre, but I didn't even come close to one today, which I was really glad of. I've been mentally and emotionally so fragile lately -- I still feel like curling up and crying this evening, to be honest, and I have absolutely no reason to -- so I really didn't need anything else to feel bad about.

At my parents' now, they've got the TV on but are actually ignoring it and reading the newspapers as they always do in the evenings. Andrew, who pulled an all-nighter before we left and didn't really sleep on the flight, has gone to bed already. I slept a lot so I'm not tired but I'm bored to tears waiting for it to be an acceptable time for me to retreat to bed with an audiobook or something.

Comments

[otter]

welcome to the winter land. You've timed it to be here during a forecast thaw. It's supposed to go above freezing for a few days.

Again, if time and travel allow, I'd be happy to meet you in person. Maybe even for tea at the airport before you leave. I'm located about 20-30 minutes drive from the airport.

[cosmolinguist]

Thank you, that's so nice but our time here is pretty heavily regimented by my parents and by the fact that our disabilities mean neither Andrew nor I can drive.

[otter]

I understand. For future, you know you have someone in MN who is open and accepting, and has a vehicle with room for several passengers :)

[cosmolinguist]

That is genuinely very useful and very heartwarming, thank you. :)

[worlds_of_smoke]

I'm glad that your traveling went as well as it could. And I hope that your visit is bearable. <3

[cosmolinguist]

Thank you. <3

[lilysea]

I still feel like curling up and crying this evening, to be honest, and I have absolutely no reason to

I disagree.

1. The very recent UK election results are worth crying over;

2. You're having to back into the closet re sexuality and gender identity around your parents which is also worth crying over.

[rmc28]

These are very good points.

[cosmolinguist]

Yeah, and relationships too. It was weird to have my mom ask a bunch of questions about Andrew's family yesterday when we don't have all that much to do with them, and not to be asked about people like diffrentcolours who I have a lot more to say about! I changed the picture on my phone wallpaper just in case they see it too: it's just a selfie of the two of us and it's not different from the kind that existed before we were a couple, but I still didn't want to leave it there. It feels lonely having to hide my relationships with him and Stuart while I'm around my family.

[otter]

What lilysea said ^^

[alithea]

Very relieved for you that the journey was less fraught than usual. Hope the visit goes as well as it can.

[cosmolinguist]

Thank you, I hope so too!

[silveradept]

Glad that the trip was as good as it could be.

We're here if the pretending and hiding gets to be more than you want to stand.

[cosmolinguist]

Thank you, it means a lot to be seen like that.