Bah

I slept badly, woke up with a nasty headache, woke up early for an online meeting I couldn't access, didn't enjoy the noisy work going on next door, couldn't call in sick from work, slogged through many meetings, tried to nap afterwards, couldn't even do that.

My mental health has been pretty bad all day too. Maybe the headache is a migraine, that would help explain this (it has some features of one, but not all the symptoms I usually get). Maybe I'm just too busy and work is too frustrating. It sucks being so drained by it that I can't do anything else; I can barely communicate with the people I live with and rarely even make dinner any more. My life is just work and Gary and failing to sleep. And I'm still surprisingly fucked up about my mom refusing to visit. I stood in my kitchen this morning thinking how much my dad would like it and the view out on to the garden, and I was angry and despairing that apparently he'll never get to see it. I keep noticing little things like that.