[202/365] coasters
Jul. 21st, 2021 09:55 pmTonight I've tried to stop my mom from being so "helpful".
One of the kids I used to babysit for is getting married -- I got the invitation a couple days ago, already after the RSVP was due, heh; at least I don't have to choose between beef or pork for the dinner (the same choices there were at my own wedding dinner; I was so hungry all that day because, having been harassed for my menu decisions, I was then thoroughly ignored).
Anyway, out of nowhere yesterday Mom emails me to say "I got an England tree ornament that I will give [this person] for her wedding from you." She reminded me I sent England coasters for the sister, the other kid I babysat, when she got married a few years ago, and I'm fine with giving something to this sister too.
I barely remember the coasters but I think Mom had told me to get a Christmas ornament then too; of course it was summer and I couldn't find any such thing in the souvenir stores in town. But my mom thought of an ornament because my mom likes Christmas ornaments. And t-shirts. My dad likes coffee mugs, and t-shirts. I know this because I get a lot of coffee mugs and t-shirts because my parents don't have a lot of theory of mind and think everyone must like what they like.
So I didn't want my mom to give up a precious England ornament! When I expressed dismay that she might give away something of her own she said "no I won't give mine up but this is something that represents where you live", which left me with more questions, all irrelevant -- why does she have this if it's not hers?? -- the only relevant point being that I am apparently expected to get something that "represents where I live." I mean I appreciate I can't run to Target or Crate & Barrel where the happy couple are registered, but this expectation of my mom's, apparently that the present match the sister's, means it has to say "England" and very often actually "London." Even in Manchester (or Liverpool or York or anywhere else I've been, even Wales or Scotland) a lot of the tat says London on it.
Anyway, when I was ranting about this stupid email exchange to![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mother_bones, she was like "I can find something on ebay", and she has! More coasters (maybe my parents will think I like coasters now like they like t-shirts...), but these are heart-shaped and in that kind of line-drawing-over-blotchy-watercolor style. They have random words all over too: "London" and "England" and "hello!" and "travel." One building seems to be labeled "United Kingdom" while another is presumably Westminster Abbey but most of it is cut off so it only says "er Abbey."
I hate buying this kind of stuff for people because it feels like I'm playing a cruel trick on them but then my family do always seem to adore these things and I'm trying to demonstrate the theory of mind that my parents lack by getting people what they like instead of what I think they should like.
I don't know whether to laugh or roll my eyes though that bad line drawings that might be of London buildings will be universally understood as "representing where I live."
One of the kids I used to babysit for is getting married -- I got the invitation a couple days ago, already after the RSVP was due, heh; at least I don't have to choose between beef or pork for the dinner (the same choices there were at my own wedding dinner; I was so hungry all that day because, having been harassed for my menu decisions, I was then thoroughly ignored).
Anyway, out of nowhere yesterday Mom emails me to say "I got an England tree ornament that I will give [this person] for her wedding from you." She reminded me I sent England coasters for the sister, the other kid I babysat, when she got married a few years ago, and I'm fine with giving something to this sister too.
I barely remember the coasters but I think Mom had told me to get a Christmas ornament then too; of course it was summer and I couldn't find any such thing in the souvenir stores in town. But my mom thought of an ornament because my mom likes Christmas ornaments. And t-shirts. My dad likes coffee mugs, and t-shirts. I know this because I get a lot of coffee mugs and t-shirts because my parents don't have a lot of theory of mind and think everyone must like what they like.
So I didn't want my mom to give up a precious England ornament! When I expressed dismay that she might give away something of her own she said "no I won't give mine up but this is something that represents where you live", which left me with more questions, all irrelevant -- why does she have this if it's not hers?? -- the only relevant point being that I am apparently expected to get something that "represents where I live." I mean I appreciate I can't run to Target or Crate & Barrel where the happy couple are registered, but this expectation of my mom's, apparently that the present match the sister's, means it has to say "England" and very often actually "London." Even in Manchester (or Liverpool or York or anywhere else I've been, even Wales or Scotland) a lot of the tat says London on it.
Anyway, when I was ranting about this stupid email exchange to
mother_bones, she was like "I can find something on ebay", and she has! More coasters (maybe my parents will think I like coasters now like they like t-shirts...), but these are heart-shaped and in that kind of line-drawing-over-blotchy-watercolor style. They have random words all over too: "London" and "England" and "hello!" and "travel." One building seems to be labeled "United Kingdom" while another is presumably Westminster Abbey but most of it is cut off so it only says "er Abbey."I hate buying this kind of stuff for people because it feels like I'm playing a cruel trick on them but then my family do always seem to adore these things and I'm trying to demonstrate the theory of mind that my parents lack by getting people what they like instead of what I think they should like.
I don't know whether to laugh or roll my eyes though that bad line drawings that might be of London buildings will be universally understood as "representing where I live."