"I like to inflict pain on my partners before mating..."

you know, there are other people i will probably share those with, but you're the only one i said, "Oh PLEASE let her be on!"

To what was the lovely textivore referring when he said this? Something sweet, something lovely, something cute...?

No.

An Italian actress graphically illustrating snail sex.

Not, needless to say, particularly safe for work.