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cosmolinguistSomething I'm really struggling with is going to my room or something during the day. It really ramps up my anxiety, in a way I don't even notice at first and when I did I struggled to identify it. I eventually realized that I was anxious because I'm so used to it being a bad thing to be in a room by myself.
"Hiding," he used to call it. He hated it. Even if I was sleeping or like cleaning the bathroom, it wasn't like I was hiding because I have big introvert tendencies. It would (should) be fine if I was a big introvert, of course, but I'm really not. I think I'm very poor company for myself really; I much prefer to be around people. (Other people give me buttons too.)
And this anxiety isn't helping me enjoy alone time. But now that I've identified it, it's a little easier to tell myself that it's okay to practice alone time, to notice the anxiety and thoughts of "someone will be angry with me for this" as they come up and gently challenge them. It's still hard though. There is this idea that I always have to be available to other people, which is not reasonable or plausible or expected by these people around me.
"Hiding," he used to call it. He hated it. Even if I was sleeping or like cleaning the bathroom, it wasn't like I was hiding because I have big introvert tendencies. It would (should) be fine if I was a big introvert, of course, but I'm really not. I think I'm very poor company for myself really; I much prefer to be around people. (Other people give me buttons too.)
And this anxiety isn't helping me enjoy alone time. But now that I've identified it, it's a little easier to tell myself that it's okay to practice alone time, to notice the anxiety and thoughts of "someone will be angry with me for this" as they come up and gently challenge them. It's still hard though. There is this idea that I always have to be available to other people, which is not reasonable or plausible or expected by these people around me.