[338/365] where the love light gleams

[cosmolinguist]

I just realized when D and I started talking about plans to see his family at the end of the month how much I am looking forward to Christmas this year.

It is the first one where I haven't been with my family or feeling the ache of missing my family. Even a year ago, I was wondering if I'd ever see my grandma again, etc. And this year I've been back twice! And the second time was recently enough that I'm still overwhelmed at the thought of going back again! It's perfect. I haven't had time to romanticize Home and Faaaamily and everything yet. I don't even feel sad that I had my last Christmas in the house where I grew up without even knowing it, in 2019.

2019 was the last Christmas with my husband too, and I didn't know that either.

Maybe that's for the best.

It's nice to for once face "the holidays" feeling so...unencumbered.

Really weird! But nice.