cosmolinguist | [226/365] ugh. (Reply)

Hardly slept. Combination of bad mental health and shenanigarys in the middle of the night.

I had Friday off and that's when it was decided that me and C from my team were going to present at a thing for a big chunk of our organization this afternoon. I'm almost kinda glad that my big boss knew she could say "hey sorry for springing this on you, you don't have to do it, but I think you'd be great at it" and be confident that I'd be fine speaking to a large group (it's only a Teams meeting after all) on little notice. It was after all on the topic I worked on all of July, and a lot of time since.

It really wore me out though. I didn't get the other thing done that I hoped I would today -- actually hoped to finish last week. Tomorrow I'll be closer to the deadline for that than my anxiety is usually comfortable with, but I just was way too tired to even think about that piece of work.

I fell asleep almost immediately when I finished work, and didn't wake up until 6:30 and then only because I figured I should make dinner.

I've been feeling grim ever since. Nauseous, spacey, I'm worried I have a migraine but it might just be the nystagmus. Both are exacerbated by tiredness.

We've had the same kind of disruptions from Gary the last couple nights. Just old dog things. I've tried to change the circumstances in hopes of stopping the same thing from happening again tonight. I really hope it'll work. I don't know how I can keep going like this otherwise.