I do like being a gay uncle.

[cosmolinguist]

I went to the park with haggis and her kid this morning.

There was one point where I was pushing said kid on the swings (a lot of the morning was haggis, D and I doing as we were directed and I'd been specifically told to push her at this point) next to a nice young man doing the same with his own toddler.

He said hello by asking me "How old is she?" to which I of course panicked because I'm not sure these days. "...Four??" I said eventually. haggis came over and saved me from more of this peril by making normal parent conversation herself.

Then the guy said "Is she the only one you guys have?" and my thoughts hadn't gotten any further than what, here with us today?

haggis said the kid is hers, and her husband's but I'm not her husband, and meanwhile I was like oh shit he thinks I'm the husband! or the new dad! Oh no! So I joked about being a gay uncle.

I don't think I've ever been mistaken for a husband before! I probably would've thought it was fun, if I wasn't too confused at the time to know that it was happening...

Comments

[otter]

What fun to go the park with the kiddo. I understand the confusion - I've struggled with it many times as a child care provider/babysitter/nanny, etc

[cosmolinguist]

It was really fun. It was rainy but we still had a great time.

[sfred]

<3

[wildeabandon]

Heh. I had a not dissimilar interaction whilst pushing Iona on the roundabout today. I tend to mention that I'm an uncle rather than a parent pretty early in conversation with other caregivers in the park, because a)it means I've got an excuse for not knowing stuff, and being less competent, and b)it seems to get me loads of kudos for doing childcare ;)

[cosmolinguist]

Ha, here I was worried I would be the deadbeat dad who doesn't even know how old his kid is. :) I don't get to uncle that much, and almost never around strangers who'd make this kind of small talk, so I guess I'm out of practice!

[annofowlshire]

I once helped a friend who had been recalled for a work emergency and had a four or five month old (I couldn't remember at the time). She strapped the baby to my chest and sent me to walk around the neighborhood for an hour or two while she resolved the issue. Of course I was stopped by every other person (usually elderly women) who coo'd at the baby the way people do and kept asking me questions about her and I was like "uh...."

[cosmolinguist]

Haha oh no, and especially with a kid that small you have to wonder how bad the "I stole this baby" vibes are. :)

[cmcmck]

Having no kids of my own (sadly) I get to aunt and even great aunt quite a lot these days!

[barakta]

Hah! Gay Uncle++

My good friend Kat is a worker in primary schools and she explicitly talks to small children about "your adult" or "your grownup" which avoids assuming parenthood or gendering stuff.

While Kat has two now adult children of her own, she is the sort of very maternal person who happily borrows children to enjoy while giving the main caregivers (there's a word we don't use in the UK but I know from US writing) a rest and has learned the scripts for "Oh, I'm not their parent" conversation cos she's actually a lot more socially awkward than most people realise cos she's so adept at scripting.

[haggis]

I have been known to say "Five! I mean four!" and I have no excuse for not knowing 🤣.

Zoe had a great time with more people to order around, I mean play with. She is very lucky to have gay uncles like you and D!

[cosmolinguist]

We were saying last night what a fun time we had being ordered around by Zoe. :) Very happy to uncle again, any time.

[silveradept]

Ah, the fun times of being mistaken for parent. But it sounds like a good time, and also that you were an excellent person for Her Imperious Highness to order about.

[andrewducker]

Oh that's awesome. I'm glad you were rescued. Hopefully next time you can enjoy it.

[cosmolinguist]

Yeah I didn't think of it but of course it's obvious. I'll be prepared next time!