another was that I was in a monogamous relationship

I have a friend whose professed reasons for not going last year have stuck with me because they made me laugh: "poverty and monogamy."

And indeed a minor part of the reason I haven't missed going is that I have been, while not monogamous, definitely not on the pull, useless as an object of flirting (though I'm so rarely flirted at I am not just flirt blind but totally disbelieving that it ever does happen), etc. While I know BiCon is not a meat market and can be entirely fulfilling without snogging or shagging or spanking anyone you wouldn't normally, that impression did add to how overwhelming it was feeling to me when BiCon first loomed in my consciousness, as I was then sort of emotionally and mentally fragile.

I don't think you sound like a crazy evangelist! You were the first (but not the last! my friends are lovely) to express an interest in me going, a disappointment I might not, and then immediate stepping back, reassurance and support that I didn't have to go if I don't want to! For all I sometimes grumble about BiCon, respect for others and consent in everything is one of its hallmarks and this seems to leave an impression even when people are just talking about it, rather than actually there, which I think speaks very well of it.