I'm oddly calm about it for the minute actually; I'm feeling a little distant from the whole thing, as if it's happening to someone else's grandpa... probably my subconscious way of coping with the fact that I can't do anything for anybody and in the meantime I do still have to go to work. :) And while I understand and even admire the way a person's brain can put these things on the back burner, of course it doesn't mean I like it. It'd be much more emotionally satisfying to be on a plane by now. But I can for once see my emotions for what they are and go on, not ignoring them but not enslaved by them either. It helps to know I can get on a plane if I need to, though...