But oh yes, the coveted click-click, accentuating every step, making me feel purposeful even though I'm not, making other people seem authoritative even when they're not.

This is exactly how I feel when I wear pumps, too. Of course, I'm more often to be found in my shiny work-appropriate wingtip maryjane Doc Martens, that I got for my last birthday, but they -- horror! -- SQUEAK on the floor in the hall here in my building.