cosmolinguist | binned

I think it was his first reaction when I asked if it'd be okay to come around to get some things. "What things?!" I was sheepish about wanting the printer but otherwise baffled. "Kitchen things...couple of books...hopefully my bike..." Nothing you'd miss, was my underlying message.

But he asked me again when I got there the next day. I was in the kitchen, looking through cupboards! This time he explained further though. "I might have thrown some of your stuff away," he said, or words to that effect. I was too stressed to remember them accurately. "I thought you got everything the last time you were here." I think I asked him what he meant and he was evasive. It was a murky train of thought, leading perhaps to unpleasantness and I didn't want that while I was still fetching things of value to me.

But the more I think about it, the more sinister it feels. Friend and I agreed the way he was talking meant he absolutely definitely has chucked some of my stuff. I didn't notice anything obviously missing (except where are all my tank tops, heh). I wonder what it was.

Talking over it again even later, I realize that he hasn't even thrown away normal things: empty bottles, wrappers... They're everywhere. Throwing away anything of mine would've been an especially deliberate act, amidst such a lack of interest in throwing actual rubbish away. I wonder what drove that. I shivered a little to think of it -- not so much the possessions I'll never see again as the negativity behind such behavior.