cosmolinguist | divorce name

It occurred to me tonight I've been getting more and more sick of what I've been calling a LARPname because it isn't a deadname for me.

And I wonder if it isn't because I'm associating it with all the unpleasant real-world stuff I've been having to do lately: dealing with banks and GPs and benefits and all that official stuff. It's really putting me off my first name (I've always thought of Cosmo as a middle name, and am starting to feel the pull of a less remarkable, a...what I saw a non-binary person sniffily call a cis-passing name as a first name).

I'm starting to feel like that cliché of someone saying "Mr. [Surname]? That's my father. Call me [Firstname]!" except with me it'd be like "Holly? Oh that's my divorce name!"